POEM: Who Wants to be a Millionaire?

Posted on January 25, 2012 by

Who wants to be a millionaire?
Is that your final question?

I like this poem because it deals with the theme of money and the theme of questions.  Perhaps needless to say, I have issues with money.  And as far as questions go, I come from the camp that says you must choose between God and money.  I love parodying popular culture, which seems like most the time to be quite inane.  The word “surreal” has become an ever popular part of my lexicon.  Probably because the gap between seeking God and seeking money has grown starker, or least my awareness of that has.  It seems hard to get more crass than “Who wants to be a millionaire?”  Nevertheless, our popular culture seems quite successful at reaching ever new heights of crassness.  Of course, the parody of the final line, “Is that your final answer?” is actually a conceptual pun in the sense that rather than coming to some final closure that our scientific reductionist culture values so highly, it turns this value on its head, and perhaps heart, by answering the question with a question, which seems to resemble life much more closely than the vain desire to wrap things up in a nice little bow of security, that is, being a millionaire.  Of course, the obvious answer to the question, “Who wants to be a millionaire?” seems to be “Me, duh!” And indeed that may be the answer for most, I  merely submit the question, “Is that your final answer?”  Any questions?

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Look Ma No Arms (Peace Dove picture) FUNNY PEACE DESIGN

Posted on January 24, 2012 by

Look Ma No Arms (Peace Dove picture)–FUNNY PEACE BUTTON

Look Ma No Arms (Peace Dove picture)--FUNNY PEACE BUTTON

Look Ma No Arms (Peace Dove picture)–FUNNY PEACE BUTTON

This cool design is linked to a button, but other great Top Pun products like T-shirts, bumper stickers, mugs, caps, key chains, magnets, posters, and sticker sheets can be accessed by scrolling down the product page.

View more Peace Buttons.

This funny peace design includes many of the signature elements of my designs.  Of course, as a total peacenik, a peace dove carrying an olive branch, a classic peace sign, is the centerpiece of this design.  The sky in the background offers a little bit of realism into simple clip-art design.  The dove sets up the visual pun which can only be understood in conjunction with the text.  The “Look Ma, No Arms!” presents itself with a childlike innocence, calling attention to itself with a demanding affection.  The pun on “arms” hopefully draws the stark contrast between a simple interaction between mother and child and a call for disarmament.  This design captures well both of the playfulness and the seriousness that I value greatly, and fits well into my mission to provide serious, funny, seriously funny designs.  Enjoy!

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TopPun.com Celebrates 10 years, Launches TP Paper

Posted on January 23, 2012 by

Top Pun, Soul ProprietorTopPun.com Celebrates 10 years, Launches TP Paper

Ten years ago I had little idea exactly what I would be doing in 10 years.  Fortunately, TopPun.com – Maximizing Prophets has turned out to be too small to fail.  And while General Motors and pretty much the entire banking system have had to be bailed out, apparently, what is good for TopPun.com is good for America.  While I continue to make too little money to pay federal taxes (not unlike many corporations), this could just as well be the most effective way to not support war and imperialism by the US.  Reality has played neatly into my hand to live simply and justly.  How does one celebrate such an auspicious anniversary?  Occupy Wall Street ButtonsWell, the way that I’m celebrating is by launching a new monthly e-newsletter, affectionately known as the TP paper, because I prefer it over the top.  This newsletter will feature monthly web specials and free downloadable posters, among other things.  The first Web special, hopefully appropriately and timely, celebrates the Occupy Wall Street movement by offering 100 assorted Occupy Wall Street buttons for a mere $29.95, featuring dozens of new Occupy Wall Street themed designs that are not even available yet elsewhere on the website.  Download Free "Class War" Political PosterAlso to honor the Occupy Wall Street movement, the first free downloadable poster, “Class War” parodies the ridiculous attitudes of the 1%, corporate personhood, and money as free speech.  To receive the TP paper regularly, just complete the e- newsletter sign-up form.  THANKS!

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POEM: What Does One Say After An Hour of Meditation?

Posted on January 22, 2012 by

What does one say after an hour of meditation?

How about, “What’s for breakfast?”

I like this two-line poem for many reasons.  First, the poem contrasts the rather ethereal subject of meditation with the eminently practical need to eat and the everyday routine of meals.  I love these apparent paradoxes, which drive much of my poetry and thinking.  While I believe that meditation and eating meals are both basic needs, most would agree that they are basic needs in very very different ways.  I also like this poem because its two-lines mirror the classical set up for a joke, misleading the reader or hearer with the first line, and then hitting them with something very different, unexpected.  And as in good joke telling, timing is important.  By tying the hour of meditation to before breakfast, it stresses the foundational nature of meditation in one’s day, and, especially for people like myself, who don’t like getting up early in the morning, it suggests that meditation is perhaps appropriate and important enough to rise early for.  Certainly, the practice of meditation is very difficult, even for short times.  The mention of an hour of meditation is probably scary for most of us.  Given the mystical nature that one might ascribed to meditation, one might expect something very grand, epic, perhaps even some miraculous revelation, after such a long endeavor.  Nonetheless, meditation may be less about achieving some temporary, mystical experience, than enriching our regular everyday experience, such as eating a meal.  I have to laugh at myself that trying to explain even some of what is behind such a simple, short poem, takes much much longer been reading it and giving it a simple meditation for oneself.  Of course, that’s the power of poetry, to say something seemingly simple, yet realize that it is much richer than it first appears.  Please feel free to read my short poems without the long commentary, especially if your simple meditations upon these poems give you a better, power-packed experience.

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Move To Amend Protest in Toledo, Ohio

Posted on January 20, 2012 by

Move To Amend Protest in Toledo, Ohio

This afternoon, protesters gathered outside the federal courthouse in Toledo Ohio as one of hundreds of protests Across the United States to bring awareness to the travesty of corporate personhood.  The nationwide protests were sponsored by MoveToAmend.org.  Move to Amend seeks a constitutional amendment which bans corporate personhood and reserves First Amendment rights for human beings.   Most of the Toledo protesters were from Occupy Toledo, which cosponsored the protest.  While the temperatures were in the teens, the protesters received warm responses from passersby in automobiles and trucks.  There was an explanation of the purposes of Move to Amend as well as Mic checks and singing.  Pictured below is me, the one and only Top Pun, holding my hand made signs — made by a human, not a corporation.Top Pun with "Abolish Corporate Personhood" sign in front of federal courhouse in Toledo, Ohio, at Move To Amend protest sponsored by Occupy Toledo

Top Pun in front of federal courhouse in Toledo, Ohio, at Move To Amend protest sponsored by Occupy Toledo

Below you can see a group of the protesters who braved the cold on a January Friday afternoon with a winter storm warning in effect.Move to Amend Protesters

Move to Amend Protesters

Please join us at Move to Amend Toledo or Occupy Toledo, or your own local or regional chapters of these groups, to bring an end to corporate personhood and reestablish humans as the appropriate and preeminent power in this nation.  Thanks!

 

 

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Celebrate National Public Health Week 2012

Posted on January 20, 2012 by

Celebrate National Public Health Week 2012

Public health buttons-pinTop Pun, a public health professional in a former incarnation, invites you to celebrate National Public Health Week 2012, which for 2012 occurs April 2-8.  The annual health observance, seeks to mobilize communities across the country to recognize the contributions of public health.  The weeklong celebration is always scheduled for the first full week in April.  National Public Health Week is officially sponsored by the American Public Health Association.  This year’s National Public Health Week theme is “A Healthier America Begins Today: Join the Movement!”

Almost one million Americans die each year from preventable diseases.  Even small preventive changes and community health initiatives can make a big difference in living healthier lives. National Public Health Week 2012 will build upon the National Prevention Strategy to create a healthier nation by promoting healthy behaviors in the following areas: active living and healthy eating; alcohol, tobacco and other drugs; communicable diseases; reproductive and sexual health; and mental and emotional well-being.

I have fond memories of working in public health.  My first work in public health was in nutrition which soon expanded to community health education, including tobacco use prevention, nutrition, exercise, and diabetes detection and control. Then, I worked in HIV-AIDS prevention for the decade of the 90s.  I finished my last few years formally in public health working on health planning and community health needs assessment.  As it turned out, I like the work much more than I liked the job, that is, my employer.  Fortunately, getting out of public health work that make him a true, higher calling: to work full-time as the best punster for peace and justice in the English-speaking world.  Also, not by accident, the philosophical basis for public health a social justice, so, in fact, I carry on the core work public health workers.  So, please join me in making every week public health week in 2012.  Thanks!

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Abolish Corporate Personhood – join MovetoAmend.org

Posted on January 19, 2012 by

Abolish Corporate Personhood – join MovetoAmend.org

End Corporate PersonhoodIt’s “We the People”, not “We the Corporations.”  Well, perhaps, for now, it’s “Wee the people!”  But hang on, the people are pissed off, and the meek are getting ready.  We are in fact the people we have been waiting for.  Corporations never have and never will be our saviors.  At best, they are tools… for people to use to better humanity as the people see fit, for the people’s benefit.

I am encouraging all the people of these United States to join in the effort to abolish corporate personhood through direct democracy.  One national organization helping lead the way in abolishing corporate personhood is MovetoAmend.org.  Here is a snippet from their website:

“On January 21, 2010, with its ruling in Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission, the Supreme Court ruled that corporations are persons, entitled by the U.S. Constitution to buy elections and run our government. Human beings are people; corporations are legal fictions.

We, the People of the United States of America, reject the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling in Citizens United, and move to amend our Constitution to firmly establish that money is not speech, and that human beings, not corporations, are persons entitled to constitutional rights.

The Supreme Court is misguided in principle, and wrong on the law. In a democracy, the people rule. We Move to Amend.”

Here’s the Move to Amend amendment they propose:

 Move to Amend 28th Amendment

Section 1 [A corporation is not a person and can be regulated]

The rights protected by the Constitution of the United States are the rights of natural persons only.

Artificial entities, such as corporations, limited liability companies, and other entities, established by the laws of any State, the United States, or any foreign state shall have no rights under this Constitution and are subject to regulation by the People, through Federal, State, or local law.

The privileges of artificial entities shall be determined by the People, through Federal, State, or local law, and shall not be construed to be inherent or inalienable.

Section 2 [Money is not speech and can be regulated]

Federal, State and local government shall regulate, limit, or prohibit contributions and expenditures, including a candidate’s own contributions and expenditures, for the purpose of influencing in any way the election of any candidate for public office or any ballot measure.

Federal, State and local government shall require that any permissible contributions and expenditures be publicly disclosed.

The judiciary shall not construe the spending of money to influence elections to be speech under the First Amendment.

Section 3

Nothing contained in this amendment shall be construed to abridge the freedom of the press.

Let’s abolish corporate personhood and end of the reign of legal fictions over our political and social life in these great United States, great because of the strength of its people, and great because laws can serve people not people serving legal fictions.

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“PUNS NOT GUNS” Manifesto by Top Pun

Posted on January 18, 2012 by

“PUNS NOT GUNS” Manifesto

“Some claim that puns are the lowest form of comedy. Dan, rather, says, “Guns are the lowest form of community.” Choose your weepin’! I prefer to hit ’em in the groan. Though puns and untrained minds can produce a “Not see,” puns and arms go hand in hand when used as a righting instrument. Mixing puns with peacework puts you in the dis’armament business; and though rhyme doesn’t pay, the prophets are good. With puns, and sharing a little peace of mine, we can realize that one side fits all. In truth, it’s guns that have too “meanings” for the price of won. Sometimes it takes everything we’ve got to see the blight (as they say, “sinner takes all”). While some may feel it’s an impossible play on wars (a mortality play for sure), all it takes is a sick sense (no relation to paranormal parents). Let’s have some serious fun (a free for all). Justice is no yoke. Think good that the pun is mightier than the sword!”

I wrote this manifesto early on in my career as Top Pun.  I have been a terrible punster as long as I can remember, and I have been interested in a wide range of social justice issues since I was a young adult.  I remember that my parents, recognizing my propensity towards puns, gave me a dictionary of puns as a present one year for my birthday.  In this pun dictionary, it was stated that there are an infinite number of puns.  At first, and actually for a very long time, I thought that this could not be possible.  Now, after cementing my vocation as the best punster for peace in the English-speaking world, I have little difficulty recognizing that there aren’t infinite number of puns.  I am a little surprised that this “Puns Not Guns” manifesto has held up so well for me over the years. I think that maybe I’m onto something with this punning thing.

As you can tell from the manifesto, much of my early inspiration comes from involvement in the peace movement.  Nonviolence seems to be the thread that ties together all of the many issues that I’m interested in.  Of course, perhaps conveniently, I define nonviolence very broadly (that’s non-broadly if you’re a woman).  Actually, while my first foray into nonviolence was in the late 70s when my mom took me to a peace conference at our church, Central United Methodist Church in Detroit.  This is the most salient event that I can identify as far as my consciousness raising around peace issues.  Back to the whole issue of nonviolence, I defined world hunger and extreme poverty as violence.  World hunger has continued to be the defining issue for me in relation to the world.  The interface between great affluence and extreme poverty has always challenged and perplexed me.  It is very difficult for me to reconcile these cruel and destructive differences in a world with so much.  The fact that such issues are deep and central to me really comes as no surprise.  In fact, I was literally born into it.  I was born in Haiti while my parents were serving as medical missionaries with the Mennonite Central Committee.  My father was a physician at the time, and my mother was a nurse at the time.  Mennonites have a tradition of encouraging their young folks after high school or college to perform some service to others.  Also, while I have been a lifelong United Methodist, I come from a very long line of Mennonites.  This Mennonite influence has been very strong, with predictable outcomes, in the sense, that peace and justice and simple living are powerful themes in my life.  Little did I realize early in my life that I was a good candidate for being a hippie.  My parents never really spoke that much about their experiences in Haiti, and when they did speak of their experiences in Haiti, they spoke rather nonchalantly.  Perhaps paradoxically, this more casual exceptions of what is hardly typical service, instilled in me that such commitment and service should be normal; and for me it was normal.

View Top Pun’s PUNS DESIGNS

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POEM: My Poetry is Shit

Posted on January 17, 2012 by

My Poetry is Shit

by Top Pun

My poetry is shit
Would I say ingest?
And I
In awe seriousness
Say poetry is the write thing to do
But once stripped of this experience
Every iota digestible digested
It’s daily nutrition had
Then
Little remains
But excrement
Pardon me if you have stepped into it
Then again, defecation is immensely underrated
Fertilizer makes great beginnings
And sometimes we just need some reading material
Where we find our self

Ah yes, to meld the epic themes of poetry and shit.  Once again, to revisit the high and mighty themes of poetry and the lowly and the mundane.  Everyone poops.  Not everyone gets poetry, if they even happen to read poetry.  Even fewer are blessed with the inclination to write poetry.  As many writers and perhaps most poets know, the writing process can often be more fruitful and beneficial to the writer than the poor reader.  Perhaps this is due to poor writing.  Perhaps this is due to poor reading.  I have to confess that there is a certain selfishness in writing poetry.  Writing poetry can be a solitary and private experience.  And as with many privy experiences, it may be best experienced by oneself.  If a poet is lucky, and maybe even talented, then what is left after the writing experience may be of great nutritive value to the reader.  Unfortunately, this is not always the case.  In such cases, that which remains may be of little value, even offensive, perhaps to even more than one sensibility.  When it comes down to it, I find much of life humorous.  And when I find life not humorous, I often search for humor, as an alternative to weeping.  I must confess that I like to have a robust proportion of weeping to be weeping of joy than be weeping of sorrow.  Fortunately, most of the raw material of life, surreal as it may be, is fertile material for comedic observations.  When others get it, all the better.  When others don’t get it, well, it happens!  Most of my poetry and other writings and that being somewhat comedic due to my propensity for humor and my inescapable perception of puns and the reality around me.  Like my son told me recently, when describing me to other people, rather than saying one thing twice, I say two things once.  Perhaps paradoxically, this may result in brevity but doesn’t make the reading of such short works any less brief.  And when reading my poetry many people want briefs.

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Toledo Martin Luther King Jr. Day Unity Celebration

Posted on January 16, 2012 by

Toledo Martin Luther King Jr. Day Unity Celebration

I just got back from the Toledo Martin Luther King Jr. Day unity celebration. I was delighted to see thousands oMLK T-shirtf people celebrating the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in Toledo once again. I’m not sure there were quite as many people as there has been in recent years’ MLK unity celebrations in Toledo. Nonetheless, it is nearly impossible to have an event honoring Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. without being inspired in some way. I particularly enjoyed the keynote address by Hari Jones, Curator of the African American Civil War Memorial and Museum. He spoke quite eloquently about the tension between empirical skepticism and metaphysical optimism in the creation of this nation and the American dream, which includes and is perhaps typified by Martin Luther King’s dream. I like the quote from Art Tatum, a native Toledoan and celebrated jazz artist, who said that in jazz often all that there is a “there is no such thing as a wrong note.” This elicits a great concept about unity. Dr. Jones spoke at some length about how everyone must play notes and in this apparent discordance harmony paradoxically can arise. I wonder at times though, given our cultural value of conflict avoidance, that we focus on and perhaps vainly hope for an authentic unity that is forged somehow without conflict. If there is anything that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. taught us, it surely would be something to do with dealing with conflict and authentic manner that is loving, respectful, and challenging — very challenging! While there is certainly merit in promoting community service, if we are truly to understand, appreciate, and embody the life and work of Martin Luther King, then we need to recognize and honor that his unique contribution to American society and the world was about successfully organizing masses of regular people to challenge and overthrow an unjust status quo. This is hard work. This is work that divides people as far apart as justice and injustice. Like Jesus was misunderstood in saying that he came to bring not peace but a sword, MLK is often misunderstood or idealized as some peacemaker who doesn’t understand the true nature of conflict and what it takes to bring justice in the world that can be cruel and apathetic to those suffering injustices. This misunderstanding often leads to acceptance, even if reluctant acceptance, of violence, as a necessary evil. The division that Jesus was referring to was not the division of flesh by a sword, but the division of people by those who would stand for justice and those who would let injustice stand. Pacifists like Dr. King and Jesus understand that there is no real way to get around conflict in life and its injustices, that we need to go through conflict. The trick is to go through that conflict with a humane measure of dignity and respect, a big dose of discipline, and an undying commitment to the fact that humanity and creation is one. This task is so large that it escapes mere human grasp and relies on grace from God, a power greater than ourselves, our family, our community, and even creation. Pacifism has historically been rooted in people with a deep relationship with the creator not simply the created, whether that be other people or the material world and all its bounty. In our modern or postmodern secular world many people may feel uncomfortable with the obvious, undeniable fact that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., the reverend, was a deeply religious man. Because MLK was so successful at providing a model for dealing with practical and large-scale injustices in our society, he is accessible to many who would like to claim him as their own. Unfortunately, to not delve to understand the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. as a religious pacifist is perhaps the miss the main point of his life, and death. At this point, I will stop babbling on and asks simply read or listen to some of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s writings or speeches. Equipping ourselves with a greater depth of understanding of MLK is a good start to honoring and celebrating his legacy.

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Poem: Wordless Dancing

Posted on January 15, 2012 by

Wordless Dancing

by Top Pun

If I told you that I’ve figured it out
You probably shouldn’t believe me
But, if by chance, you find me dancing
You need not ask me why
Simply discover what makes you dance
And dance!
Then, if our paths shall cross again
We may dance together
In that place where there are no words


I wrote this mystical poem, Wordless Dancing, first as an attempt to describe a parting of ways; but, in writing this poem, I discovered that in a deeper mystical way, that living authentically could very well lead to joining up again, if it is meant to be; and if it is meant to be, that joining up again with the good, that is, what is meant to be.  This poem represents part of the common everyday struggle to “figure out” the world, other people, and what they may need.  However, it dawned on me that by discovering and living that which makes one dance, the rest doesn’t really matter that much, or at least is out of one’s control.  In the end, or perhaps along the journey, if two or more people come together dancing, then getting caught up in what the other person is doing or needs is not so important, and dancing together need not be described (or may not even be describable) but merely experienced.  And as much as we influence one another, our own ability to dance freely and authentically is perhaps the best hope to bring about dancing freely and authentically and others.  I find this theme of differentiating oneself, finding oneself, and relating to others, creating authentic community, a rich theme.  It strikes me that a great part of wisdom is being able to dance both while alone and with others.  I am attracted to the mystical and wordless nature of poetic strivings, meditating upon that which is paradoxical, at least apparently paradoxical, and finding some synchronicity or synthesis.  It seems that such meditations are infinite and unending, in the sense that life is a journey and not resolved once and for all, except perhaps in death, which of course is not normally seen as life.  I like the image of dancing because it connotes freedom in a process that is flowing and beautiful, and least that is when some people dance; or least it can be beautiful to the one dancing even if it doesn’t appear beautiful to someone observing the dancer.  Dancing also seems to connote joy and engagement in the world as opposed to an outwardly motionless type of meditation.  This seems to embody a more naturally contagious way of being.  Hopefully, in this short poem, you will find rich meditations that will help you articulate better in words that which you feel and experience, and bring you mystical experiences, in that place where words are not only inadequate but unnecessary.  Well, that ends the rather lengthy, wordy dissertation on a short poem that perhaps should be allowed to stand on its own two feet; or better yet, dance.

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Top Pun’s Martin Luther King Jr. Day Poem 2012

Posted on January 12, 2012 by

I have written another pun-filled epic poem; This time in honor Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and MLK day.  I dedicate this poem to the legacy and work of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and all of those who have been inspired by the American civil rights movement in their work for justice and peace.  This MLK poem is about seven pages long and can be viewed at: Owed to Martin Luther King, Jr. Day Poem, or you can download the poem as a PDF file for easy viewing, printing or sharing at: Owed to Martin Luther King, Jr. Day Poem

Here is the beginning of the poem if you need a teaser…

Owed to Martin Luther King, Jr.
by Top Pun

Rekindle the story
Of Martin Luther
King, Jr.
An unequalled story of two halves
Those who halve
And those who halve not
As far apart as North is from South
A Protest-ant leading a Reformation
To not have a preyer
What kind
Of moral fiber
In a sea of White
To pick
A fight
Bringing
Not even
A knife
To a gunfight
At the OKKK corral
Taking a beating
All that they can give
To the man
A hymn
Of racial harmony

View entire poem: Owed to Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

Happy Dr. Martin Luther, King, Jr. Day 2012.  Celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King Junior Day every day in 2012!

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PUNNY Epic Poem: Christmas on Wall Street – Occupying Humanity

Posted on December 23, 2011 by

In honor of my 50th birthday, I have decided to devote more time to writing.  I hope to concentrate on pun-filled political satire, including epic poems.  To get you started, here is my first major epic poem, in honor of Occupy Wall Street protesters and Jesus, both known for putting some skin in the game.  The title of this epic poem, not surprisingly, is Christmas on Wall Street.  Please be warned, this poem is very punny and very epic, meaning long and sweeping (mostly Wall Street Bull): Christmas on Wall Street – Occupying Humanity. Enjoy at Christmas and beyond!

Browse Occupy Wall Street designs.

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