Tag Archives: Joke

UNIMPEACHABLE POEM: When Conspiracy Makes a Perfect Call

When Conspiracy Makes a Perfect Call The Democrats made me Due it In the end only Tempted bribery In awe I did In competence My soul motive Buy partisan ship A condemn nation urned As just US done With all … Continue reading

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POEM: Tickling God’s Whiskers

He thought Too himself More or less THAT would tickle God’s whiskers Which was particularly funny Since God has no whiskers Un-less That is God is right Under your knows This short poem plays with the notion that God is … Continue reading

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POLITICAL CARTOON: CEO Jesus Retirement Plan

CEO Jesus: You Had Me At The Retirement Plan After a long hiatus, CEO Jesus is back.  This comic was inspired by a poem I wrote recently: At Jesus, Inc. I came for the love and mutuality I stayed for … Continue reading

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POEM: Boulder Climate Change Strategy

Know madder What The body politic wants Wee are A given Political climate change Fueled agin Buy dollareds Hot air And cheep solutions Trapped in a net worth A slew of zeroes Proffering barren fruit Taking Their cut Wile the … Continue reading

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POEM: Opportunity Accost

Having arrived Delivered by a private message The bad knews Out of the weigh Surrounded Only Good news ahead Able to attack On any affront This poem is based on an old joke, that goes something like this: The courier … Continue reading

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POEM: Wee Lives

Wee live In a whirled Determined To be Or not to be Making head weigh At an impassable gait In effable hustle A jeer of our peers That hurry can knock us down Or give momentary flights Holding out that … Continue reading

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POEM: The Awe Might He Acorn

The acorns fall Like reign From above As the mighty yoke is broken Flailing to grasp the gravity of the situation Each won A tiny oak Tolled by nature If only Such nuts Can hold there ground And a void … Continue reading

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POEM: Bee The Sting

As in nature I did stir A kamikaze threesome Of yellow-jackets Making their presents known Too me Wherever egos Joined by white-coats Hopefully not fallowing me As will bee Or not to be And little Did they no I would … Continue reading

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POEM: A Scarecrow’s Doo

My life is very Scuffed up Round the edges Hither too Better than A scarecrow Keeping Snobs a way As they brood Over heir dues Wile They are off Making hay Their own Abrade Turning straw men Into goaled Only … Continue reading

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POEM: Big Bang Burrito®

Under a first rate inquisition I mussed a test I don’t know If God Can make A bean burrito so big That God can’t Eat it Such a peerless quest in May be Scorn points with sum To be little … Continue reading

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POEM: Not The Usual Joke

A Hindu A Muslim A Christian And a Jew Walk into a bar And the bartender says Greetings, Mr. Gandhi Let me guess You don’t want “the usual” This short poem takes the format of a common joke. However, one … Continue reading

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POEM: Seriously?!

The Zen master was nearly Finished with his instruction When he got to non-seriousness I was greatly relieved For I was taking nothing He was saying Seriously This short poem gets at one of the great paradoxes of enlightened spirituality: … Continue reading

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POEM: Less Than Eternal Question

The Rev. Medley Had risen To the highest position He would ever It was only down from there An awe too common Occupational hazard Of moderate irony And accumulating lessens Just falling short Of making one cross Facing that less … Continue reading

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POEM: Atlantis Rules

Atlantis Rules The young Atlantean The imprudent progeny Of the now forgotten Famed experimental physicist father Was more infamous Than his fabled land In pawning his dad’s curiosity And not taking his mother’s quiet advice A lot on his plate … Continue reading

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POEM: It’s About Time

One day I had a dream God came to me and said Meet me tomorrow at 4:32 pm On the bench In the small park At the corner of Ashland and Collingwood Near your home You have something I want … Continue reading

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POEM: Of Cucumbers and Fences

The punk was going to take My cucumber From my fence So I clutched My trusty shotgun And I fired a shot Way over his head He scattered like so much buckshot Having triggered his nerves Like a fresh kill … Continue reading

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POEM: Blood Donor

Blood Donor I work 24/7 365 days a year I work holidays and vacations I even work in my sleep I am a blood donor My work is a gift Enrichness Serving what is but hours The miracle of life … Continue reading

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POEM: Same Old Hope

He said, “Wow, you’re the same old hopeful person.” I said “Yes, and somewhat dyslexic. I’m a Samo Hopien” This short poem doubles as a bad joke.  Appropriately so, my dyslexia is in tandem with the double vision of punning.  … Continue reading

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POEM: Efficiency Expert

The efficiency expert asked me How many poems can I write Per hour Well, if I only Had but one hour I would guess a singular poem Western civilization seems obsessed with efficiency.  Of course, high efficiency is no guarantee … Continue reading

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POLITICAL CARTOON: Comedian Jesus – Love Your Enemies

Comedian Jesus Speaks! Welcome to Comedian Club Jesus!  This is the latest installment the Top Pun series of comics that run on Sundays, featuring CEO Jesus, Free Market Jesus, Country Club Jesus, General Jesus, Comedian Jesus, and who knows what … Continue reading

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