Category Archives: Funny Poems

Funny, Pun-filled Poems

POEM: Cheeto Wrapper

Yo yo, the Bully-in-chief is still vying for a Nobel Peace Prize… Cheeto Wrapper Yo yo We’re on the brink Of total permanent peace Or absolute annihilation Yo yo We interrupt this dark spectacle The live theater of war With … Continue reading

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POEM: The Nothing Special — Owed to What Kin You Do

We are all kin. What kin you due? The Nothing Special — Owed to What Kin You Do They took Care of their own The giving Nothing special Of average Joe’s Every wear In thin A regular At that owed … Continue reading

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POEM: Make Note of Me, Taking Leave

Here is a funny poem about the peril of being taken literally… Make Note of Me, Taking Leave If I should dis a peer Without a trace This might Licit a thought That I am faking my death Which though … Continue reading

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POEM: Def Poetry Jam

The spirit is wild and free. This poem is a spirited take on the often unreadability and occasional must-readability of my poems… Def Poetry Jam Amor likely then knot You have not herd My favorite def Of poetry Is the … Continue reading

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POEM: Warrin’ Piece – Not the Novel

Holy imagination, Batman! I found peace. It’s awe ways, the last place you look… Warrin’ Piece – Not the Novel “Hate is the udder lack, of imagination.” There is a piece Incite of him That passeth awe Under standing It’s … Continue reading

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POEM: Hammered

Hammered “If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.” –Abraham Maslow They claimed to no The fascist way to what They want Winning at all accosts Won tool to rule them all Pounding … Continue reading

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POEM: Vegan?

Here is a funny poem about my aspirational veganism… Vegan? They asked the fated quest in Why are you a vegan? Well, as a recovering nutritional fascist I try to be a hospitalitarian Eating whatever someone offers me Butt The … Continue reading

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POEM: Antifa – Owed to Anti-Fascists

The Fascist-in-chief Donald Trump posted that he will designate Antifa as a “major terrorist organization,” despite the fact that Antifa is a movement, at best, simply signifying, “anti-fascism,” and lacks a distinct leader, membership list, or structure. Such farcical social … Continue reading

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POEM: Surrounded

This poem is inspired by an old joke: The courier arrives with a message for the commander. The courier says, “I have good news and bad news; which would you like first?” The commander says, “Give me the bad news … Continue reading

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POEM: Shorted – The Short Game Playing

Let me know if this poem is worth the punchline… Shorted – The Short Game Playing We are getting Stupider and stupider Foolisher and foolisher Dis regarding science Heeding into foolhardiness And heartlessness As scorn points Soully paying Attention to … Continue reading

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POEM: Making Camp

Here is a manly feminist poem… Making Camp He had a somewhat alien urge Man Caved Intuit To go where no man had gone before So he went Only to find Thousands of women All ready had Made camp Of … Continue reading

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POEM: Glass Not Have Full

This poem offers another solution to satisfy the “Is the glass half full or half empty?” question. As a bonus, the poem incorporates another interpretation of the Zen joke: What did the Zen master say to the hotdog vendor?  “Make … Continue reading

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POEM: Leather Bound

For me, writing poetry is a fearless and irreverent process, ever recognizing that irreverence can be the highest form of reverence. The words left on a page are mere soul droppings. A collection of such droppings of skewered sacred cows … Continue reading

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POEM: Achilles’ Heel

Knocking things down is always easier than building things up, weather it’s a two-year-old or a second term of a president (if you can tell the difference). Still, even amidst wanton destruction, building things up is ever important. Being obsessed … Continue reading

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POEM: A Poet’s Currency

Poet versus economist: A Poet’s Currency ARE YOU A CAPITALIST? no i am more a kin to that econ amissed e e cummings In case you didn’t know, E. E. Cummings was a poet who often broke the rules of … Continue reading

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POEM: True Story

Perhaps the best Dad joke ever told. True Story Won time In Bible study We were discussing the whether A human can see the face of God And live The reverend said know Buuuuttt Being made In His image According … Continue reading

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POEM: Pro-crastinator

The muse finally got around to delivering this one… Pro-crastinator It was already too late He had discovered that Procrastination pays Other wise He would be An amateur-crastinator

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POEM: Dread Full Theology

This funny little poem illustrates just how far my mind goes to set up a pun. WARNING: this poem gets a little hairy. Dread Full Theology So, you think God is dead? I am not sure But I do know … Continue reading

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POEM: Caged in Key West

This poem is a glimpse into my somewhat demented mind. I am not really sure what inspired this poem. This poem is not based on a real story. Nonetheless, here it is. Poetry happens. Please feel free to not be … Continue reading

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POEM: 5.14159 [pi + number 2]

This poem is sort of a mathematical Shakespearean insult. Perhaps you’ve met the guy — know not Shakespeare. 5.14159 He never got me But I had his number From that very first meting Like pi And number two

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