CEO Jesus Speaks: The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth!

Welcome to CEO Jesus!  This is the second installment a new Top Pun series of comics that will run on Sundays, featuring CEO Jesus, Free Market Jesus, Country Club Jesus, General Jesus, Comedian Jesus, and who knows what other incarnations!

This week’s CEO Jesus is a close cousin to Free Market Jesus.  CEO Jesus has the same signature pile of cash vainly looking for someone to hire – ha ha ha!  CEO Jesus wears a simple black tie that makes him look eerily like a Bible salesman.  I am always creeped out by the wall of corporate logos and names that are now routinely placed behind speakers from virtually any major organization when making press statements or giving speeches.  I am sure that some truly wise public relations experts would argue that this is just taking advantage of another opportunity to brand oneself or one’s organization.  I would agree that they’re definitely taking advantage of something, but branding can really hurt! .  They would probably also point out that resistance is futile — I would rather say resistance is feudal, peasants resisting their commercial overlords.  Of course, if CEO Jesus is going to have a press release he has to literally stand behind his corporation, Jesus, Inc.  Thus, the omnipresent corporate logos.  Actually, it all makes me a little cross ( pun intended).  Now, I am not aware of Jesus ever founding a formal organization, however, some say that he founded the Church.  Even this I am not sure was Jesus’  intention.  Jesus was a Jew, and I am not convinced that he felt the need to be more than a Jew.  Certainly, Jesus was a religious reformer, and he directed his religious reform efforts at Judaism.  Also, I think that Jesus was into inclusivity and wanted to greatly expand Judaism, even to the point which it could fairly easily be argued that it was something completely new.  However, Jesus strikes me as being much more of an anarchist than a director of a nonprofit organization; especially since so many nonprofit organizations are also non-prophet organizations.

Now, back to the cartoon.  The fact that the meek shall inherit the earth is probably not the most popular concept in the Bible.  Meekness typically has a connotation of weakness rather than humility, and neither of these are particularly valued in our culture.  Weakness gets no shrift whatsoever, and this probably explains why our culture will careen practically anywhere except towards greater intimacy, which requires vulnerability and a humble acceptance of our weaknesses.  Either way, the CEOs of this world will not budge in their rejection of anything in the ballpark of meekness.  Thus, the declaration by CEO Jesus, most assuredly after consulting his team of lawyers, that while this distant and probably meaningless promise in some vague future may require some acknowledgement, there is no reason to expect any real world accountability related to this promise.  Perhaps, the leftovers or toxic waste that remains after consuming the entire planet could conceivably be included in the meek’s inheritance, but even this depends on whether or not the CEOs are in a good mood.  In the end, CEOs can be counted on only to provide that which they are obliged to provide, preferably contractually.  Even then, if not providing that which they are obliged to provide costs more in legal fees, fines, etc. then providing it, then they will just bail on their obligations and write it off as a business expense.  After all, you have to do what the market bears, right?  Or, is that what the market bulls?

So, until next Sunday, with the next edition of CEO Jesus, Free Market Jesus, etc., talk amongst yourselves or let me know what you think.