After a cursory perusal
Of your uncorroborated facts
In your unverified application
We are pleased to accept
The donation of your brain
To pseudoscience
The great thing about donating your brain to pseudoscience is that such brains are largely unused. Scientific literacy, sound logic, and critical thinking seem to be largely optional in postmodern America. Maybe this is progress. I can see the headlines now: “Western Civilization Renders Effective Human Beings Superfluous.” Of course, you’ll never see this headline. Mostly because the word “superfluous,” in a crowning irony, is extremely unlikely to make it through the dumb-down filter that is omnipresent in mass media, rendering it unneeded. In this juggernaut of progress, we will soon render focus groups superfluous, as big data will know us better than we know ourselves, and the lowest common denominator pabulum rendered by focus group results will be delivered by an algorithm. Of course, such algorithms will be proprietary in the private sector and top-secret within government inner circles, to assure that the economy is fed and stability reigns. But no need to worry, as consumers and consumed merge, we can bask in the glow of our glowing big screen boxes, approximating life so statistically accurately. Our every emotional, snacking, and consuming need will be re-calibrated every fraction of a second. Now, some might think that this is some grand conspiracy theory, but those in the know realize that the government has planted conspiracy theories to distract us from deeper truths…
