{"id":1910,"date":"2015-09-21T15:13:39","date_gmt":"2015-09-21T20:13:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/toppun.com\/blog\/?p=1910"},"modified":"2015-09-25T07:18:24","modified_gmt":"2015-09-25T12:18:24","slug":"poem-know-vacancy-owed-to-co-dependency","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/toppun.com\/blog\/2015\/09\/21\/poem-know-vacancy-owed-to-co-dependency\/","title":{"rendered":"POEM: Know Vacancy — Owed To Co-Dependency"},"content":{"rendered":"

Are you so-so special<\/strong>
\nMore than a little off<\/strong>
\nRenting that hallowed space<\/strong>
\nInn one’s head<\/strong>
\nTo fiend and faux like<\/strong>
\nFor what<\/strong>
\nMounts to ears<\/strong>
\nA-pathetic brood<\/strong>
\nChecking in weigh too often<\/strong>
\nGetting your pique of the litter<\/strong>
\nWondering aimlessly<\/strong>
\nSow sow whys<\/strong>
\nAs trashing hows<\/strong>
\nThe leaser of too evils<\/strong>
\nGetting lesson nothing<\/strong>
\nGetting squat-er<\/strong>
\nYet billing another story<\/strong>
\nAs stairing into space<\/strong>
\nThe winnow of your soul<\/strong>
\nReflecting that unending turn off<\/strong>
\nFlashing neon signs<\/strong>
\nKnow vacancy<\/strong><\/p>\n

Most everyone who has loved someone has made a fool out of themselves before.\u00a0 If you haven’t, you probably aren’t loving enough, putting your whole self out there.\u00a0 Loving involves intimacy.\u00a0 Intimacy involves risk of being hurt.\u00a0 This is normal, that is, unavoidable, barring building huge walls to keep others out and not caring at all.\u00a0 Of course, failing to love is assured by not trying to love.<\/p>\n

\"Mind<\/a>Codependency develops in the coarse of normal adaptations to abnormal situations, resulting in self-defeating patterns of behavior.\u00a0 While coping mechanisms may protect oneself fare thee well amidst dysfunction, coping mechanisms applied to more normal situations themselves become dysfunctional.\u00a0 Fear and hyper-vigilance may trigger defensiveness and offensiveness in situations where it is maladaptive.\u00a0 This actually repels more normal people in one’s life, interfering with opportunities to more healthily adapt to higher functioning relationships.\u00a0 Also, the skills developed in codependency are like a neon light to addicts — dependents — signalling your ability to fit their dysfunction.\u00a0 Strangely, unlike attracts unlike, and match to match ignites situations where the house burning down is transformed into a bizarre opportunity to share s’more with each other.\u00a0 The fact that you can tolerate such chaos and abuse is the very measure of such depraved and deprived love.<\/p>\n

This brutal dance of codependency often continues until one or more of the parties hits rock bottom, and digging the relationship finally peers as absurd.\u00a0 Oftentimes, since the other person in the relationship is obviously crazy, both the dependent and codependent move onto similar relationships without facing their own craziness.\u00a0 \"PRIDE<\/a>If trying to control the uncontrollable, such as other people, is your motto, then you may well be the mayor of crazyville, with all of its perks and benefits.\u00a0 There are many symptoms of such candidacy.\u00a0 They include letting others live rent free in your head, nurturing resentments in the self-contradictory hope of taking poison and expecting others to be hurt, and being so lost in others’ business that you can’t take care of your own business.\u00a0 The hallmark of codependency is not having boundaries where you need them and having walls of denial blocking your view of things as they really are.<\/p>\n

Gracefully, there appears to be a sanity clause — just sane!\u00a0 Mysteriously, many eventually brake free from such self-defeating patterns.\u00a0 They come to appreciate the proposition of letting go — or being dragged!\u00a0 \"Live<\/a>Trying to control stuff that can’t be controlled creates a bloated illusion that the world will fall apart if you don’t hold it all together.\u00a0 Living in this false hood is extremely dangerous, and great relief can be gained by relinquishing sow sow much on won’s too due list.\u00a0 Maybe you aren’t the one holding it all together.\u00a0 This is a world where you neither play God, nor are played by God.\u00a0 This leaves you free to fulfill your unique role in the whirled, taking care of your own business and your response-ability, and allowing others to live their own lives, without lording over them, as in sibling rivalry.\u00a0 Some call this being an adult.\u00a0 Some call it being a child.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Are you so-so special More than a little off Renting that hallowed space Inn one’s head To fiend and faux like For what Mounts to ears A-pathetic brood Checking in weigh too often Getting your pique of the litter Wondering … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,15,1],"tags":[512,442,660,341,427,363,392,462,65,263,388,565,359,273,132,594,658,94,423,350,260,531],"class_list":["post-1910","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poems","category-political-and-philosophical-musings","category-uncategorized","tag-business","tag-chaos","tag-codependnecy","tag-control","tag-crazy","tag-denial","tag-evil","tag-fear","tag-god","tag-grace","tag-hope","tag-intimacy","tag-life","tag-love","tag-normal","tag-play","tag-poems","tag-poetry","tag-relationships","tag-resentment","tag-risk","tag-soul"],"yoast_head":"\nPOEM: Know Vacancy -- Owed To Co-Dependency | Poems, Political and Philosophical Musings, Uncategorized | Top Pun's Poetry, Funny Puns, Free Posters, Public Health Radio Show! 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