{"id":1473,"date":"2014-04-14T14:54:19","date_gmt":"2014-04-14T19:54:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/toppun.com\/blog\/?p=1473"},"modified":"2014-04-14T14:57:43","modified_gmt":"2014-04-14T19:57:43","slug":"poem-trust-glue","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/toppun.com\/blog\/2014\/04\/14\/poem-trust-glue\/","title":{"rendered":"POEM: Trust is the Glue"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-size: large;\">Trust is the glue<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Sticking me to you<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">The favored few<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">The spoils of many<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Consume mating<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">The fool<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Faith and credit<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Of US<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Divining<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Kindly mirror<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Or unwelcome truth<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">A confidence game<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">And quiet passably<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Escaped convictions<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Sow what<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Is the catch<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Having been borne<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Into a flimsy throng<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">With shortcomings taut<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Exposed arrears<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">And know weigh out<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">From what hangs in the balance<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">And scaling up intimates dread<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Both<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Give and take<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Be for you<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">A present<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">A forward looking gift<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Offering as such<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Promise<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Seasons swimmingly<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">A rested development<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">And good grief<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Those early mournings<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">In one&#8217;s out look<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">As prodigal hearts aplomb<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">And despite awe<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">One knows<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Turning out<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">To be<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Better than goaled<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">And silver locks fall away<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Any hitch<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">A mere trailer of coming attractions<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">The untangled web weave<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">And too the our<\/span><br \/>\n<span style=\"font-size: large;\">Looming cleave<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Trust is the real currency of human relationships and civilization.\u00a0 True community can only be built upon trust.\u00a0 We are born vulnerable, and vulnerability remains at the center of human intimacy throughout life.\u00a0 Authentic human intimacy can only be achieved through vulnerability.\u00a0 Exploring our vulnerability with others, and sharing our burdens of vulnerability with others, is a necessary process for building trust.\u00a0 If we put ourselves out there and we are accepted and embraced, the space where we can truly be ourselves and truly learn about others grows wider and deeper.\u00a0 This knowledge and experience of ourselves and others is essential for reaching our full human potential.\u00a0 In its most simplest terms, we need others to be fully human.\u00a0 Trust is an invitation to trust.\u00a0 If another reciprocates that trust, then trust grows.\u00a0 If another shuts us down or hurts us, then trust stagnates or recedes.\u00a0 Similarly, mistrust becomes an invitation to mistrust.<\/p>\n<p>We have all experienced rejection and hurt, and many have experienced outright trauma.\u00a0 These facts of human existence provide the baseline for how much trust we might expect at any given time.\u00a0 However, building trust or healing from mistrust can only occur by inviting others to trust, which requires a vulnerability from anyone inviting another to grow trust.\u00a0 These are the true heroes of human community, not those who &#8220;make&#8221; things happen (the purview of force).<\/p>\n<p>Without trust we devolve into isolation and fear.\u00a0 Individualism can only be maintained by increasing control over others whom we do not trust and consider threatening.\u00a0 This does not play well with the people sought to be controlled.\u00a0 This is the most fundamental division in forming, maintaining, and building human community.\u00a0 There may be a nominal alignment of interests within social classes to secure common goals, but these interests will remain forever in tension and at risk of erosion if the primary driver is individual security.\u00a0 The perpetual warring of competing interests, and continual realigning of interest groups, is an inescapable result of an unwillingness or inability to share vulnerabilities with other people, to invite mutual trust.<\/p>\n<p>Further, the drive to control others emanates directly from a subjugation of the common good to our own perceived good.\u00a0 Whether conscious or unconscious, this drive is based on the calculation or assumption that, as an individual, one can fare better by competition against rather than cooperation with others.\u00a0 While this may be true in limited contexts and time-frames, such competition and subjugation erodes the potential for human progress or evolution at any given moment.\u00a0 There are many things that a trusting community, of two or more people, can build than an individual, no matter how much force they can apply to others to control others according to their own will.\u00a0 If you have any doubt about the benefits of trust, consider the simple advantages of unlocked doors versus locked doors.\u00a0 A fortress mentality, built on mistrust, is costly both physically and psychologically.\u00a0 Of course, physical security for one&#8217;s person and property is perhaps the crudest manifestation of trust&#8217;s benefits.\u00a0 At the heart of trusting relationships is self-discovery in the safety of accepting and loving others, and deep knowledge of others; both of which vastly improve our functioning in the human world in realistic and effective ways.<\/p>\n<p>Since community builds from a growing trust in others, it is not surprising that families and close personal relationships are the building blocks of community.\u00a0 Even the trust of institutions near and far is powerfully mediated by our personal experiences and from the example, character, and opinions of those whom we trust, those closest to us.\u00a0 For this reason alone, building community is a bottom-up enterprise.<\/p>\n<p>You can&#8217;t legislate trust.\u00a0 Trust is synonymous with authority, not power to coerce but that which we believe has a legitimate claim upon us.\u00a0 Institutions seem to have a life of their own, a self-replicating or self-perpetuating nature.\u00a0 However, human institutions are dependent on humans.\u00a0 Any authority that an institution has is derived somewhere down the line from the &#8220;street cred,&#8221; the level of trustworthiness of that humans associated with that institution.\u00a0 Institutions are comprised of a set of humans associated with it, and a set of impersonal &#8220;corporate&#8221; relationships that govern its behavior.\u00a0 The consent and trust of humans determines the legitimate authority of institutions (as opposed to simply force), not the other way around.<\/p>\n<p>At the nexus of the personal relationships of humans and the impersonal corporate relationships of an institution, is the next level of human community where trust and mistrust manifest themselves.\u00a0 Institutions guided by trust are mere tools, a technology to be used, by humans, to achieve some common good.\u00a0 They act in accord with the will of the people associated with it, and demonstrate authority in as much as it behaves in ways with legitimate claims to creating common goods. \u00a0 Institutions guided by mistrust are those plagued by humans who value the tool more than the people it was designed to serve.\u00a0 Such human plague trusts tools, things, more than people.<\/p>\n<p>The difference is between humans using a tool or the tool using humans.\u00a0 Of course, the tool does not have a life of its own, but its character is derived from the humans associated with it.\u00a0\u00a0 Used appropriately, institutions serve as a tool to magnify the common good, and they both deserve and build trust.\u00a0 Used inappropriately, institutions are weaponized by some to control others, magnifying the invitation to mistrust, and degrading community.\u00a0 This weaponization of institutions hinges on a mistrust that chooses valuing &#8220;things&#8221; over people, in a quest for individual security.\u00a0 In essence, such institutional abuse is a form of dehumanization, reducing people (and their institutions) to things simply to be used for one&#8217;s own advantage.\u00a0 This tension or outright conflict within institutions greatly magnifies the dividing line between people and things.\u00a0 While institutions can leverage the common good, I suspect that the ease of hijacking institutions compared to the great effort required to build healthy institutions does not bode well for the total net benefit of large institutions in human life and community.\u00a0 Large institutions with their relative ease of weaponization sets up access to perhaps the greatest area of power differentials in human society.\u00a0 Perhaps the best basis for securing human equality is minimizing large institutions which can magnify power differentials between people.<\/p>\n<p>I suspect that widespread trust is much more efficient and effective than the widespread large institutions, the hallmark of Western civilization, at bringing about healthy, happy, and free human communities.\u00a0 The fulcrum between trust and mistrust is compassion, or love.\u00a0 Without compassion toward ourselves and others regarding our vulnerabilities and imperfections, we will forever fall short of being whole human beings, who can only be made whole in community.\u00a0 Compassion builds trust and can banish fear.\u00a0 I am hopeful that the experience of authentic, healthy community is more powerful and attractive than fearful isolation and individualism.\u00a0 May it be so&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Trust is the glue Sticking me to you The favored few The spoils of many Consume mating The fool Faith and credit Of US Divining Kindly mirror Or unwelcome truth A confidence game And quiet passably Escaped convictions Sow what &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/toppun.com\/blog\/2014\/04\/14\/poem-trust-glue\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,15],"tags":[434,294,400,435,607,331,339,533,720,332,341,632,401,440,428,539,432,462,608,497,431,388,620,213,612,565,359,273,379,594,658,94,110,491,585,423,260,659,265,290,484,529,464,421,514,85,549],"class_list":["post-1473","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poems","category-political-and-philosophical-musings","tag-authority","tag-awe","tag-balance","tag-character","tag-common-good","tag-community","tag-compassion","tag-competition","tag-conflict","tag-consent","tag-control","tag-cooperation","tag-equality","tag-evolution","tag-experience","tag-facts","tag-faith","tag-fear","tag-gift","tag-healing","tag-heart","tag-hope","tag-impersonal","tag-individualism","tag-institutions","tag-intimacy","tag-life","tag-love","tag-nature","tag-play","tag-poems","tag-poetry","tag-power","tag-present","tag-progress","tag-relationships","tag-risk","tag-security","tag-self-discovery","tag-society","tag-technology","tag-time","tag-trust","tag-truth","tag-vulnerability","tag-western-civilization","tag-willingness"],"yoast_head":"<!-- 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