{"id":1469,"date":"2014-04-12T13:23:42","date_gmt":"2014-04-12T18:23:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/toppun.com\/blog\/?p=1469"},"modified":"2014-04-12T13:26:35","modified_gmt":"2014-04-12T18:26:35","slug":"poem-duckiness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/toppun.com\/blog\/2014\/04\/12\/poem-duckiness\/","title":{"rendered":"POEM: Duckiness"},"content":{"rendered":"

Long the weigh<\/span>
\nI miss<\/span>
\nTook some clash<\/span>
\nCharging another<\/span>
\nOnce an abject of my affection<\/span>
\nNow a worthy suspect<\/span>
\nIn a lineup<\/span>
\nOf numbered whoa’s<\/span>
\nAmong many<\/span>
\nSeedy subjects<\/span>
\nOn the lam<\/span>
\nYet beyond a shadow<\/span>
\nOf doubt<\/span>
\nTo the maxim<\/span>
\nLooking like a duck<\/span>
\nWalking like a duck<\/span>
\nQuacking like a duck<\/span>
\nThen duck!<\/span>
\nTurning in<\/span>
\nTurning out<\/span>
\nTo be a quack<\/span>
\nApprehending<\/span>
\nI’ve been doctored<\/span>
\nNow witnessing<\/span>
\nNeither<\/span>
\nA ghastly tale<\/span>
\nTo be chaste<\/span>
\nNor a menacing bill<\/span>
\nTo be payin’<\/span>
\nStrangely just<\/span>
\nA beginning<\/span>
\nOnly under standing<\/span>
\nWon mourn<\/span>
\nThe oblige-ations<\/span>
\nOf duckiness<\/span>
\nA-mending<\/span><\/p>\n

This poem is a tribute to the healing process after the break up of a romantic relationship.\u00a0 This healing process is about moving beyond taking everything personally and gaining some detached perspective regarding how poorly we all often behave under stress and duress.\u00a0 This process is probably best captured in dealing with the end of an intimate relationship, but it applies widely across life.\u00a0 Perhaps the greatest blessing of intimate relationships is that it allows us to take things deeply personally, hopefully in a safe manner.\u00a0 Unfortunately, when an intimate relationship breaks apart, this vulnerability brings great pain.\u00a0 Since both people in an intimate relationship are vulnerable, with lives meshed and knowing each others buttons, a breakup can be an irresistible invitation to hurt those who have hurt us so deeply.\u00a0 While this may not be a particularly enlightened or healthy way to cope with loss, hurt people hurting others is perhaps a universal human experience, from both the receiving and dishing it out ends.<\/p>\n

In this poem, this predicament and attitude is transcended by a process of “duckiness.”\u00a0 Ducky simply means likeable or agreeable.\u00a0 Things aren’t always as they appear.\u00a0 A generous attitude toward other may very well be the most appropriate default attitude.\u00a0 Of course, sometimes what looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck is, in fact, a duck.\u00a0 Nonetheless, even if things are as they appear, our attitude and reaction toward any given situation molds oneself, even defines oneself.\u00a0 And like they say, honey will get you farther than vinegar.\u00a0 Our attitudes and behaviors are, well, ours.\u00a0 What other people do is theirs.\u00a0 What you do and how you do it does influence other people, but we all have our own choices to make, and can only be held responsible for our own attitudes and behavior.<\/p>\n

Of course, the trickiness of relationships is that yours, mine, and ours is easily confused.\u00a0 This is probably why love, generosity and simple kindness allow relationships to continue and grow.\u00a0 We all need space to be who we are, without judgment or sanction, that is, to be accepted as the imperfect beings that we are all.\u00a0 In a wonderful paradox, acceptance is often the greatest medium for bringing about change!\u00a0 However, if a relationship is strained or at a breaking point, then boundary issues become more urgent, perhaps even a crisis.\u00a0 People may start behaving in ways one considers unacceptable, or at least greatly dis-likable.\u00a0 Accepting the other person the way they are, a pretty good working definition of love, does not demand some grand control or manipulation of their defects, but rather a healthy boundary for oneself to avoid harm from another’s toxic attitude or behavior.\u00a0 No doubt, moving from a deeply personal meshing of one’s lives to a more detached way of relating can be difficult and confusing, especially if one is pondering severing a relationship completely, a relationship that may have provided many good things in each of your lives.\u00a0 This can be the worst form of loss in life.\u00a0 While suffering the worst losses in our lives may not bring out the best in us, this is equally true for those around experiencing great loss.\u00a0 Such trying situations beg for compassion — compassion for ourselves and compassion for others.\u00a0 There are few situations that kindness will make worse.\u00a0 Try a little duckiness.\u00a0 And if kindness doesn’t work, then it’s time to duck out…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Long the weigh I miss Took some clash Charging another Once an abject of my affection Now a worthy suspect In a lineup Of numbered whoa’s Among many Seedy subjects On the lam Yet beyond a shadow Of doubt To … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,15],"tags":[103,353,391,397,336,339,341,428,415,497,388,565,456,359,611,273,494,354,658,94,395,423,409,610,340,529,514,380],"class_list":["post-1469","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poems","category-political-and-philosophical-musings","tag-acceptance","tag-attitude","tag-blessing","tag-change","tag-choices","tag-compassion","tag-control","tag-experience","tag-generosity","tag-healing","tag-hope","tag-intimacy","tag-kindness","tag-life","tag-loss","tag-love","tag-passion","tag-perspective","tag-poems","tag-poetry","tag-psychology","tag-relationships","tag-responsibility","tag-romantic","tag-suffering","tag-time","tag-vulnerability","tag-work"],"yoast_head":"\nPOEM: Duckiness | Poems, Political and Philosophical Musings | Top Pun's Poetry, Funny Puns, Free Posters, Public Health Radio Show! 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