POEM: Personal Boundaries

By: Top Pun - May 5th, 2012  Filed under: Funny Poems, Poems Add Comment

Sometimes I have trouble telling where I end and you begin
No, wait, that’s you!

This funny little poem plays with the confusion inherent in having fuzzy personal boundaries.  Codependency is a very popular topic these days.  Sorting out what is your own business versus what is somebody else’s business can be a very difficult task.  Fortunately, we live in the world of interdependence.  So, I suppose that sorting out oneself from others would naturally present some difficulty.  I cannot claim any great wisdom in regards to that fuzzy line between what is one’s own business and what is somebody else’s business.  However, I think I’ve stumbled upon a fairly good cheat.  If I focus on who I am and who I want to be, this seems to be a full-time job, leaving little time for messing around with other people’s business.  Self-awareness and self-discovery is a lot of work.  However, if we were able to achieve a decent level of self-awareness, then what do we bring into our relationships with other people becomes much clearer.  Of course, it also helps a lot, if the other people that we are in relationship with know who they are and who they want to be as well.  In the end, this probably boils down to the simple reality that minding other people’s business is just a roundabout way of avoiding dealing with what is truly our own business.  Somehow, it seems so much more fun and/or easier to diagnose and fix other people’s problems!  Unfortunately, I am the only one that can truly take care of my business, and if I don’t do it, then I can’t blame anybody else.  Of course, if I just stick to blaming everybody else, I don’t have to deal with my own stuff.  Is this just me, or is that you?!

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POEM: Running Like Chickens With Their Heads Cut Off

By: Top Pun - May 2nd, 2012  Filed under: Funny Poems, Poems Add Comment

POEM: Running Like Chickens With Their Heads Cut Off

Have you ever looked a chicken in the eyes?
Most of us city folk probably never have
Where are you?
Chickens can look quite different in the city
Just the same
Their bodies run around
Like death will catch up with them if they slow down
Their heads flit about
Ensnared by nothing at all
Abiding mirror fax of life
Who has got one’s back?
Missing only you, won’s greatest faux
Possessed by a vacancy
That will soon enough be dismissed
Wading for something more
Unable to see what’s beneath their own feat
Where we are grounded
Still, six feet is better than two
When it’s not yours!
As if one May fly!
To live but for one day
Today
Even four proves oddly better
Fore what can thou dust do, in turn?
Don’t you see?!
Chickens re-member!?
They are almost everywhere
Though they are practically invisible where I live
So I am bound to run into more than a few
Even more so if you cross to the other side
Just, please, don’t bother asking me why
I must
Have chickens
Incite me
To a whirl
Without
Chickens
Running about
With their heads
Just being
Cut off
Like trafficking enflesh

I wrote this poem a while back, but thought that it might be a good poem for the month of May, given the reference to the short-lived May fly.  Nonetheless, this poem fits on a long-standing theme, particularly for those living in Western civilization, of busyness and not being present in the moment. Like many of my poems, you may have to read it several times, because it involves a lot of puns and multiple meanings depending on how you read various phrases.  It’s difficult for me to comment on longer poems, because I end up commenting way, way longer than the poem itself.  Sometimes I like to leave the poems to speak for themselves.  Still, I think it’s probably comment on one strain in this poem.  The phrase: Still, six feet is better than two is a reference to being buried 6 feet underground and a reference to a chicken with its head cut off lying on the ground looking at the 6 feet of three other chickens and taking some small comfort that it is not their two feet that they see in their last moment of life.  Also, this is an allusion to the apparent ease at which we will trade other people’s lives for our own.  If you find this somewhat morbid, then take some comfort in the line: Even four proves oddly better.  In our fixation on the quantitative in our culture, it might seem odd that four is actually better than six.  However, the four refers to two sets of feet and a pair of chickens or people.  This refers to the comfort that we find in companionship with one another.  This value of companionship strikes a sharp contrast to the hurried busyness that tramples our presence of any given moment, and rushes by authentic relationships with others.  In this crazy world, which may seem dangerous and short at times, especially if you are chicken, companionship and solidarity may prove to be the reason or purpose in our lives.  I guess the message is: pay attention to the people around you.  Oh yeah, you may want to pay attention to the chickens around you as well.

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POEM: Metaphors be with you

By: Top Pun - April 6th, 2012  Filed under: Funny Poems, Poems Add Comment

Metaphors be with you

This simple one line poem which is only four words is a takeoff on the Star Wars saying, may the force be with you.  Is it any surprise that one of these four words is a pun?  Of course, I love metaphors way more than Star Wars, which I enjoy quite a bit.  I love metaphors because they can hit you right in the face with an apparent literal meaning while simultaneously launch a much grander and ephemeral meaning.  I suppose that literalists are confused by metaphors.  However, I might note that literalists are confusion.  This poem is also a simple blessing that the metaphor rich reality in which we live is ever accessible to you.  Like another poem of mine, everything else reminds me of everything else.  Rather than a reality that is barren of meaning, reality is so robust with meaning that it nearly busts out everywhere.  So, metaphors be with you!

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POEM: Near Life Experience

By: Top Pun - March 28th, 2012  Filed under: Funny Poems, Poems Add Comment

I once had a near-life experience
but that’s another story

I like this funny two-line poem because it turns around the mysterious fascination with near-death experiences.  This poem implies that near-life experiences may actually be the uncommon experience.  This is driven home even further in an ironic fashion by not even bothering to tell you about the experience but simply referencing it as just another story to tell.

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POEM: Protesting Pet Peeves

By: Top Pun - March 24th, 2012  Filed under: Funny Poems, Peace, Poems Add Comment

I would protest against my pet peeves
Except, I’m not sure that “Honk if you want to end noise pollution”
Would work out so well

I like this funny little poem because it teases at the natural limits of something like protesting.  Many people consider me a big-time protesters.  Perhaps fewer people recognize that noise pollution is one of my major pet peeves.  I love the sign that protesters have that say “Honk for peace” or the like.  This is a great way to invite others to get involved in making a public statement about something very important.  However, when you put these two things together: a honky protest and a desire to end noise pollution, the incongruity becomes comical.  Life is funny!  Thank God!  Sometimes we just have to live into the mystery and find things laugh-worthy along the way, especially when dealing with serious or difficult issues.  At some moments in life, it may not be possible to have both peace and quiet; it may be a choice of peace or quiet.

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POEM: Subconscious Not What You Think

By: Top Pun - March 9th, 2012  Filed under: Funny Poems, Poems Add Comment

Don’t bother pondering the subconscious
It’s not what you think

This funny poem is a reminder that much of what is life is not directly accessible by us.  Most of what goes on in our bodies is outside of our consciousness and cannot be put under direct control of our will.  This is a good thing!  Otherwise, we would have to spend all of our time trying to digest our food along with a million other bodily processes that happen without the benefit of our puny consciousnesses.  Further, even the state of our mind is largely outside the realm of consciousness.  It takes a lifetime of attention and reflection to get a decent grasp on our own mind , and how it is affected by our own emotions and external conditions and situations.  Western civilization is obsessed with control.  The idea that we are not in control of all the things let alone most of the things in our life can be maddening for many people.  Reflecting on this lack of control is not an exercise in futility, but gets to the heart of wisdom, that there are larger forces at work in our lives, and even in our life force or spirit itself.  Learning to recognize those areas of our life that we don’t have any control over is just as important as recognizing those areas of our life that we do have control over.  Courage applied to beating your head against the wall is foolishness.  Not being grateful for all the good things in our life that we didn’t bring about, well, seems ungrateful.  We stand on the shoulders of others, and we are steeped in a good creation that God gave us.  Back to consciousness!  It is commonplace to reduce consciousness to intellect.  This is a mistake of the highest order.  For instance, the reality that we need to muster courage in order to deal with the things that we can totally transcends the mere concept and workings of intellect.  Wherever courage comes from, it strikes me that it is a much deeper place than just logic or mental analysis.  Much of these above sentiments are captured in the serenity prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.  Amen!

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POEM: Actual Pie vs. Pi

By: Top Pun - March 7th, 2012  Filed under: Funny Poems, Poems Add Comment

Actual pie is way more than 3.14159 times better than mathematical pi.

This simple one line poem makes fun of Western civilization’s fixation on the quantitative versus qualitative.  It is big business to reduce everything to a number, preferably dollars if you can!  Of course, actual pie is quite enjoyable, whether it is apple pie, cherry pie, blueberry pie, raspberry pie, rhubarb pie, coconut cream pie, pumpkin pie, banana cream pie, key lime pie, blackberry pie, elderberry pie, cranberry pie, chocolate cream pie, peach pie, gooseberry pie, huckleberry pie, or lemon meringue pie; you take your pick!.  While there is definitely a quantitative nature to this long list of great pies, mathematical pi cannot compare.  Using the term way more is a device that can connote both a qualitative and quantitative sense to it.  In contrast to the 3.14159 of mathematical pi, the precision of mathematical pi seems quite ridiculous.  Some may argue that the unique nature of mathematical pi has a certain beauty to it.  I wouldn’t disagree.  Nonetheless, it’s their incomparability that I am comparing.  One of the interesting things about mathematical pi is that it never ends, its digits past the decimal place continue forever and ever.  Still, this holds nothing on actual pie which comes to an eventual end, probably gracefully, hopefully gracefully!  But alas, if you really must have it all, and you are quite the daredevil, you may have actual pie while simultaneously meditating upon mathematical pi.  Unfortunately, this falls into yet another trap of Western civilization: the illusion of multitasking.  We can really only focus on one thing at a time.  To alternate our focus back and forth between one thing and another can certainly be done but it almost as certainly alternately robs the experience of each thing focused upon.  An exception to this might be pie a la mode.

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POEM: My Poetry is Shit

By: Top Pun - January 17th, 2012  Filed under: Funny Poems Add Comment

My Poetry is Shit

by Top Pun

My poetry is shit
Would I say ingest?
And I
In awe seriousness
Say poetry is the write thing to do
But once stripped of this experience
Every iota digestible digested
It’s daily nutrition had
Then
Little remains
But excrement
Pardon me if you have stepped into it
Then again, defecation is immensely underrated
Fertilizer makes great beginnings
And sometimes we just need some reading material
Where we find our self

Ah yes, to meld the epic themes of poetry and shit.  Once again, to revisit the high and mighty themes of poetry and the lowly and the mundane.  Everyone poops.  Not everyone gets poetry, if they even happen to read poetry.  Even fewer are blessed with the inclination to write poetry.  As many writers and perhaps most poets know, the writing process can often be more fruitful and beneficial to the writer than the poor reader.  Perhaps this is due to poor writing.  Perhaps this is due to poor reading.  I have to confess that there is a certain selfishness in writing poetry.  Writing poetry can be a solitary and private experience.  And as with many privy experiences, it may be best experienced by oneself.  If a poet is lucky, and maybe even talented, then what is left after the writing experience may be of great nutritive value to the reader.  Unfortunately, this is not always the case.  In such cases, that which remains may be of little value, even offensive, perhaps to even more than one sensibility.  When it comes down to it, I find much of life humorous.  And when I find life not humorous, I often search for humor, as an alternative to weeping.  I must confess that I like to have a robust proportion of weeping to be weeping of joy than be weeping of sorrow.  Fortunately, most of the raw material of life, surreal as it may be, is fertile material for comedic observations.  When others get it, all the better.  When others don’t get it, well, it happens!  Most of my poetry and other writings and that being somewhat comedic due to my propensity for humor and my inescapable perception of puns and the reality around me.  Like my son told me recently, when describing me to other people, rather than saying one thing twice, I say two things once.  Perhaps paradoxically, this may result in brevity but doesn’t make the reading of such short works any less brief.  And when reading my poetry many people want briefs.

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Top Pun’s Martin Luther King Jr. Day Poem 2012

By: Top Pun - January 12th, 2012  Filed under: Funny Poems Add Comment

I have written another pun-filled epic poem; This time in honor Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and MLK day.  I dedicate this poem to the legacy and work of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and all of those who have been inspired by the American civil rights movement in their work for justice and peace.  This MLK poem is about seven pages long and can be viewed at: Owed to Martin Luther King, Jr. Day Poem, or you can download the poem as a PDF file for easy viewing, printing or sharing at: Owed to Martin Luther King, Jr. Day Poem

Here is the beginning of the poem if you need a teaser…

Owed to Martin Luther King, Jr.
by Top Pun

Rekindle the story
Of Martin Luther
King, Jr.
An unequalled story of two halves
Those who halve
And those who halve not
As far apart as North is from South
A Protest-ant leading a Reformation
To not have a preyer
What kind
Of moral fiber
In a sea of White
To pick
A fight
Bringing
Not even
A knife
To a gunfight
At the OKKK corral
Taking a beating
All that they can give
To the man
A hymn
Of racial harmony

View entire poem: Owed to Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

Happy Dr. Martin Luther, King, Jr. Day 2012.  Celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King Junior Day every day in 2012!

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PUNNY Epic Poem: Christmas on Wall Street – Occupying Humanity

By: Top Pun - December 23rd, 2011  Filed under: Funny Poems Add Comment

In honor of my 50th birthday, I have decided to devote more time to writing.  I hope to concentrate on pun-filled political satire, including epic poems.  To get you started, here is my first major epic poem, in honor of Occupy Wall Street protesters and Jesus, both known for putting some skin in the game.  The title of this epic poem, not surprisingly, is Christmas on Wall Street.  Please be warned, this poem is very punny and very epic, meaning long and sweeping (mostly Wall Street Bull): Christmas on Wall Street – Occupying Humanity. Enjoy at Christmas and beyond!

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