Category Archives: Funny Poems

Funny, Pun-filled Poems

POEM: True Story

Perhaps the best Dad joke ever told. True Story Won time In Bible study We were discussing the whether A human can see the face of God And live The reverend said know Buuuuttt Being made In His image According … Continue reading

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POEM: Pro-crastinator

The muse finally got around to delivering this one… Pro-crastinator It was already too late He had discovered that Procrastination pays Other wise He would be An amateur-crastinator

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POEM: Dread Full Theology

This funny little poem illustrates just how far my mind goes to set up a pun. WARNING: this poem gets a little hairy. Dread Full Theology So, you think God is dead? I am not sure But I do know … Continue reading

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POEM: Caged in Key West

This poem is a glimpse into my somewhat demented mind. I am not really sure what inspired this poem. This poem is not based on a real story. Nonetheless, here it is. Poetry happens. Please feel free to not be … Continue reading

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POEM: 5.14159 [pi + number 2]

This poem is sort of a mathematical Shakespearean insult. Perhaps you’ve met the guy — know not Shakespeare. 5.14159 He never got me But I had his number From that very first meting Like pi And number two

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POEM: Gratuitous Rumor

On rumors of angels… Gratuitous Rumor There is a rumor That she is an angel In disguise I know this is untrue For if it is true It’s the worst disguise ever

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POEM: Did I Hear You Write?

This funny short poem takes particular advantage of how my punny writing is used to meditate on righting the whirled. My poems typically read silently differently than how they seem read out loud. This is a good example of my … Continue reading

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POEM: Giving a Flock

Today’s short, funny poem: Giving a Flock Have you herd The won A bout A vegan saying No harm No fowl

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POEM: The N Times? An Ode Too AI

Here is a poem a bout AI, artificial intelligence. This is a poem with ATTITUDE!  Today’s news included this: Thousands of authors urge AI companies to stop using work without permission. With this poem, I throw down the gauntlet to … Continue reading

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POEM: A Wrigley Question

A funny little poem. A Wrigley Question I was not prone To such ambulating queries And it was not what I was expectorating “Who would spit their chewed gum on the sidewalk?” The question sticks deep in my sole

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POEM: Stanza Loan

A poem about the nighttime dance with the muse: Stanza Loan My peripatetic soul Me-and-her-ing In the meddle of the night Stairing into space Looking fore A heavenward sealing Holing up Foiling Oh my Vega bonding Only to be Trolled … Continue reading

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POEM: Royally Backwards: Owed to Chuck the King

This is my attempt to chuck the news about the coronation of King Chuck III: Royally Backwards: Owed to Chuck the King Sitting on my throne Perusing many subjects before me It curred to me King Charles may not be … Continue reading

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POEM: Putin on the Ritz

Putin on the Ritz Putin showed up The end At the gate of heaven Only to discover that God is the kindest woman You could ever imagine Who also turns out To be a huge fan Of Pussy Riot And … Continue reading

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POEM: Got Marxism?

Got Marxism? “Are you a Marxist?” he asked Well Yes and know I am More of a Groucho Marxist Than a Karl Marxist This funny little poem is a bit Zen in that turns a serious question into a playful … Continue reading

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FUNNY POEM: Weight Fore It

In the dark Weight fore it There it is That singular smile Making light Of everything Taking a twinkle Over Awe the whirled As never Settling for number one Even as wading for it On and on As inevitable As … Continue reading

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POEM: This Is Knot Poetry — When Red Allowed

Waiving his red pen He made his mute point That spoken word is knot poetry Like meting Meter and anti-meter And the invariable deconstruction of awe As if Employing free Versus The hire mind For awe That its worth Save … Continue reading

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POEM: Promedica My Ass — Owed To Branding

Logos used Too mean Know ledge Like that age owed ad vice Would you jump off a bridge If every won ails did As in sayin’ Bye your good will As money oozes from the non-prophet, health care (sic) system … Continue reading

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POEM: Tickling God’s Whiskers

He thought Too himself More or less THAT would tickle God’s whiskers Which was particularly funny Since God has no whiskers Un-less That is God is right Under your knows This short poem plays with the notion that God is … Continue reading

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POEM: That Arguable Grip

He argued Fore cynicism Farced to choose between What’s left What is right And he one handily With won hand tied behind his back Soundly Like the slow clap With the only hope That he is not contagious And that … Continue reading

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POEM: The Reason Donald Trump Sucks

The reason Donald Trump sucks Is that he is full of himself And the vacuum created Can’t help Butt purse His lips Like the Donald, this poem speaks for itself.

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